In 2001, I knelt before an altar at youth camp, and accepted the call of God over my life to become a missionary. At the foot of the cross, I lay down the brokenness of my past and asked God to turn my ashes into beauty.
When my marriage of six years ended in divorce in 2009, I took the shattered pieces of my life and laid them before my Savior, and once again, asked Him to turn my ashes into something beautiful.
As I reflect on the last decade, there are a lot of questions that I would like to ask God, but the most pressing is: How does my brokenness fit into God's perfect plan for my life?
Many times, I have knelt at the foot of a bed, or at the bend of a chair, or in the quietness of a mountain, and cried with tears of desperation: "Lord, I don't know what You are doing, or why you have permitted this to happen ... but I know who You are, and I trust You."
Looking back, I realize that the testimonies that have been formed through the processes of my life are much more powerful than any sermon I could ever preach.
Isaiah 55 is my favorite chapter of the Bible, because it's full of God's reminders to us that it's not our job to know what He is doing... it's only our job to trust Him.
(v. 8-9 NLT)
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
(v. 11 NLT)
I send ... out [my word], and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it...
Having faith in what God has promised requires that we don't yet see the outcome of the situation: Faith is believing it what is still unseen; when the unseen is revealed, faith becomes testimony.
Having faith means believing that God will provide for the light bill to be paid, even when you have yet to collect a paycheck, because He knows all your needs before you even present them to Him (Matthew 6:8).
Having faith means believing that the healing will come, even though the doctor has ordered even more tests, because your victory over death has already been won (1 Corinthians 15:55-57).
Having faith means believing that your children will come to know the Lord, even though they have chosen wayward paths, because you have sanctified them by prayer (1 Corinthians 7:14).
Having faith means believing that the night of sorrows will not last forever. Even though you are walking through a valley of tears right now and you have forgotten the feel of the sun's warmth on your skin and the sweetness of laughter on your lips, you believe that God will take the tears you are crying today and turn them into streams of joy that will overflow with laughter and hope tomorrow (Psalm 30:5-11).
A beautiful name of God is Jehovah-Shammah, which means, "The Lord Is There." (Ezekiel 48:35)
The Lord is not far away in heaven, looking down on your situation. He is there.
He is not distracted by the needs of others and unaware of your struggles. He is there.
He is not walking at a distance to avoid your humanness and brokenness. He is there.
Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you."
Hebrews 13:5-6 NLT
God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”
If anyone in history can be credited with believing in God's promises even when the circumstances were unclear, it's Abraham and Sarah. In Romans 4 and in Hebrews 11, the authors explain why Abraham and his wife are heroes of the faith:
Hebrews 11:8-10 (NLT)
It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.
Hebrews 11:11 (NLT)
It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.
Hebrews 11:17-19 (NLT)
It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again.
Romans 4:20-21 (NLT)
Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises.
If you are feeling like you are walking a road less traveled without many lamp posts to guide your steps, you are not alone. Throughout history, God has called men and women like you and me to step out from our safety zones and walk in the unknown. He doesn't tell us what the road will bring, or what we will experience along the way. He does, however, make us a promise:
(1 Cortinthians 2:9 NLT)
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
Maybe we don't know what you are doing, Lord... but we know who you are - You are good, You are faithful, and You are here. We trust in You.
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